A break from readings

Having thought about it for quite some time, I've decided to stop reading Tarot for clients for a while. I imagine I'll return to it again at some point, but it just doesn't seem to be suiting me or interesting me at the moment.

I've been reading professionally for ten years now, I've seen a lot of clients in that time, and I've very much enjoyed the experience.  I've enjoyed the process of reading Tarot (there's always a slight frisson of surprise and excitement that "It's worked again!"), enjoyed my deepening relationship with my cards, enjoyed the feeling of helping bring insight to people (although felt the occasional frustration of sensing that that insight would be discarded) and enjoyed what I've learned from simply sitting with clients and trying to work on their problems with them (amazing how often the advice you give is the advice you need). But these last few months I've found myself less and less inclined to arrange to see clients. I've been poor at getting back to people who made enquiries to me (sorry if that's included you), I've not chased new clients, I've not seen many clients… all in all I just don't seem to have a lot of energy for it anymore. Whatever reading Tarot was giving me before it doesn't seem to be offering me as much anymore. So it's time to stop for a while.

I suspect this has to do with a more general issue about my work and career. Having taken a step forward in my 'day job' in the past year I've realised that it's really not the direction I want to be going in – in fact I've found that whole exercise frustrating and disheartening. Getting closer to the top of an organisation has made me realise that i don't want to be part of that organisation anymore. At the same time I've realised that the kind of work I do for myself isn't satisfying either – whilst I have generally enjoyed working with clients, all the other stuff that comes from being self employed (self promotion, finding clients, arranging stuff) doesn't interest me… and in fact generally annoys me. So I don't do it, or don't do it very well. Which means, in turn, I've never been very good at growing my business, and running a not-very-successful business is really not a lot of fun. So I'm going to stop doing that for a while, and see what happens.

So the most important next step for me is to find myself a better day job. This is not something I currently have a lot of confidence in – whilst I know I'm good at lots of stuff, I'm never very confident that I can convince other people I'm good at stuff. Plus the fact that I have a very diverse set of interests and skills means that I don't fit easily into any career path. But, like all things, this will be part of my journey, part of my adventure, and I hope it will result in me finding something to do for a career which is more fulfilling and uses more of my potential than my current job does.

When that's sorted out… well, I'll look again at whether I want to be seeing clients again in whatever spare time I have left. Until then no doubt I'll still be reading for friends, and I may occasionally be persuaded to do readings over Skype, or meet up with some old clients. But by and large I'm not going to be working as a Tarot reader or Hypnotherapist for the foreseeable future. It's hard to imagine that these two things won't be a part of what I do in the future, but for now… they don't fulfil me in the way they did, nor do they bring in enough money to be serious career options. So I need to put my energy elsewhere.

So, time for a little career evoking magick, I think…

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