The Weird Shit Not Bullshit Quiz

A quiz presented for your general entertainment. To see the answers, highlight the blank space after the question, and the truth will be revealed. If you'd like to quibble about any of these answers then feel free to contact me.

People
1. Which madam was responsible for founding the Theosophy movement?
Madam Blavatsky
2. Which female 20th Century occultist wrote "Sea Priestess", "Cosmic
Doctrine" and "Psychic Self Defence" amongst other books?
Dion Fortune
3. Which early heretic from Gitta supposedly claimed he could fly before
Emperor Nero, but fell to his death because of the prayers of the Apostles Peter and Paul?
Simon Magus
4. Who, historically, was first to write about Atlantis?
Plato
5. What was the name of Dr Dee's assistant?
Edward Kelly
6. Anton Levay is noted for having founded which organisation?
The Church of Satan
7. Who was described as "The Wickedest man in all of Christendom"?
Aliester Crowley
8. Where was Emperor Norton, Emperor of?
America. And Protector of Mexico. He declared himself such in 1859, deciding that America needed an Emperor. Rather pleasingly, many people agreed, and he became a much respected celebrity in his home of San Francisco, even being able to issue his own bank notes. He is considered a Discordian Saint, and is a testimony to what a creative and daring mind can achieve.
9. Which English occultist is the subject of the Hellblazer comic series?
John Constantine. As recently ruined in a Hollywood film.
10. What was the name of the French occultist that Crowley claimed to have been in his previous incarnation?
Eliphas Levi
11. Although he denied it himself, what did Aliester Crowley allegedly turn Victor Neuberg into?
A Camel
12. Which influential comics author, and occultists, wrote Promethea and "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"?
Alan Moore
13. Who wrote "The chariots of the gods", in which he concluded that
various early civilisations who contact with space aliens?
Erich von Daniken

Places
1. St. Paul's Cathedral is built on the site of a Roman temple to which god/dess?
Diana
2. Where was Crowley when he had "The book of the Law" dictated to him?
Cairo, Egypt
3. What is the name of the Scottish Church featured in The Da Vinci code, which may, or may not, contain the holy grail, the arc of the Covenant and the head of John the Baptist?
Rosslyn Chapel
4. Where does Maldavite come from?
Czechoslovakia. Although some say ‘outer space’ – it was probably created in a meteor impact.
5. In which country did Crowley found "The Sacred Abbey of Thelemic Mysteries"?
Italy.
6. Which stone circle in Oxfordshire was vandalised with yellow paint in 2004?
The Rollright Stones
7. What item of occult significance was stolen from the science museum in 2004?
Dr John Dee’s scrying crystal.
8. The remains of a temple to which Roman god, associated with Bulls and Ravens, and popular with the Legions, can be found in the centre of London?
Mithras

Deities and Pantheons
1. Which was the only material that Balder was vulnerable to in Norse myths?
Mistletoe
2. How did Ra solve the 'Sekhmet situation'?
By dying some beer red and pouring it around her so she’d mistake it for blood, drink it, get pissed, and fall asleep.
3. What part of Osiris was Isis never able to find?
His penis.
4. Which Great Old One was also known as "The Lord of a Thousand Forms", "The Waster of Hope", and "The Mouth of Madness"?
Nyalathotep – part of H.P. Lovecrafts Cthulhu Mythos. Now available in cuddly toy form.
5. Which Babylonian goddess of Water and War was noted for having sacred prostitutes in her temples?
Ishtar
6. In which esoteric tradition are gods/spirits referred to as Loa?
Voodoo
7. The Initiates of Thanateros take their name from two gods – what are they, and what are they gods of?
Thanatos – greek god of the dead, and Eros, Greek god of sex/love.
8. A Goddess once inscribed 'Kallisti' on a golden apple. What does it mean?
For the fairest. This was, in a round about way, responsible for starting the Trojan War. The moral of this story is – don’t snub goddesses when drawing up party invites.
9. What wet and rather fetishistic thing did Zeus turn himself into in order
to impregnate Danae?
A golden shower.
10. Which god got his head replaced by an elephant's?
Ganesh.
11. What did Odin receive in exchange of hanging himself upside down from the world tree for nine nights?
The Norse Runes.
12. In the Thelemic system of Aeons, which Egyptian god is the god of this Aeon?
Horus.

General knowledge
1. What was the name given to the object the discovery of which is the goal of most Alchemy?
The Philosopher’s Stone
2. According to Alchemy, what are the three fundamental elements?
Salt, Sulphur and Mercury.
3. Why is Bavaria infamous in esoteric history?
For the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati. Who control the world. Apparently.
4. In Crowley's Essay "The Soldier and the Hunchback" what *are* the soldier and the hunchback?
An exclamation mark, !, and a question mark, ?
5. What was the name given to the language that the Angels who contacted Dr John Dee spoke?
Enochian
6. What term did Jung coin for 'meaningful coincidences'?
Synchronicity
7. What Chinese system of divination is also known as 'The Book of Changes'?
The I-Ching.
8. According to David Icke, a secret organisation, whose members include John Major and George Bush, is running the world. What is the ‘true form’ of this organisation's members?
Eight foot tall lizards. They’re from the 5th Dimension, don’t you know.
9. What is the goal of the magical rituals set out in the grimoire "The sacred magic of Abramelin the Mage"?
To gain the knowledge and conversation of one's Holy Guardian Angel.
10. What significant event is meant to happen in December 2012?
The end of the world as we know it. Either in catastrophic destruction, or as a mass human evolution. Depends who you ask, really.
11. Which Major Arcana is found between the Fool and the Priestess?
The Magus/The Juggler/ Le Bateleur
12. Name the seven Chakras, as they are most commonly written in western traditions.
For wimps: Base, Belly, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, Crown.
For hard core know-it-alls: Muladhara, Svadhisthana, Manipura, Anahata, Vishudda, Ajna, Sahasrara.
There are of course *many* different systems involving different numbers of charkas, different names, different locations, and different associations.

13. Complete the phrase "Nothing is true…"
Everything is permitted.
14. Who is alleged to have said it first?
Hassan-i Sabbah – also known as ‘the old man of the mountains’ and the leader of the Hashishim. There is no historical evidence that he actually said it. But it’s a good story.
15. The emblem of what organisation features two men riding on one horse?
The Knights Templar – always remember a conspiracy theory isn't a real conspiracty theory unless it involves the Knights Templar
16. Complete the phrase "That is not dead which can eternal lie…"
“And in strange Aeons even death may die”
17. Which book is the above quote from?
The Necronomicon. An entirely fictional book., made up by H. P. Lovecraft.
18. How many cards are there in a standard Tarot deck?
78
19. In Kabbalah, what is the name of the tenth Sephira?
Malkuth
20. A circle with eight arrows radiating from it is associated with which
modern magical philosophy?
Chaos Magic

Paths, Groups, Systems and Traditions
1. What was the name of the Magical order headed by Macgregor Mathers?
The Golden Dawn
2. What was the name of the heretical Christian sect, mostly based in Southern France, which was crushed in the Albigensian Crusade in 1209?
The Cathars
3. In Aztec mythology, Itzpapalotl was a butterfly made from what?
Obsidian
4. In Hindu mythology, the opening of what will mark the end of the world?
The Eye of Kali
5. What is the name of the secret order who, according to "The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail" and later "The Da Vinci Code", are seeking to return members of the holy bloodline to power?
The Prioy De Sion
6. According to Buddhism, what is the root of all sorrow?
Ignorance – although sometimes it’s said to be Desire.
7. What does Thelema actually mean?
Will
8. Many Thelemites start their talks and articles with the phrase "Do what
thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law". What phrase do they use to close?
Love is the Law, Love Under Will
9. In the popular Zen phrase, what should you not do whilst pissing?
Whistle
10. What name did the Templars give to the head that they supposedly worshipped?
Baphomet
11. Which recreational facility do Discordians take to be holy?
Bowling Alleys
12. According to Egyptian mythology, when one dies the weight of ones heart is weighed against what?
A Feather
13. What is the name given to the nonsensical riddles used in Zen to induce enlightenment?
Koans
14. According to Taoism, the way that can be walked is not what?
The Way
15. From which secret order do with get the word assassin?
The Hashishim
16. In the Thelemic tradition, in which year did the current Aeon begin?
1904

Your chance to show off
1. "If you're so bloody good at magic, why haven't you won the lottery?" Respond.
2. A commonly heard phrase in the occult world is "I'm under psychic attack!" – suggest five more likely explanations.
3. Create your own saying of deep but impenetrable wisdom
4. Where is the Holy Grail?
5. Where is the ark of the Covenant?
6. Who were you in your last incarnation?
7. What’s the coolest thing one might do with Magic and infinite power?
8. The secret to life, the universe and everything is…
9. The best piece of advice ever is…
Sadly powers beyond my ken have forced the removal of the answers to this section. Email me your attempts and I’ll tell you whether you were right or not.